KIEV (AFP) — Ukrainians having nightmares involving a politician's death ahead of parliamentary elections this Sunday should wake with a smile: an unexpected sexual encounter awaits.
That's just one of a galaxy of predictions provided by astrologers in this ex-Soviet country as they peer into crystal balls and try to add spice to a poll mired in apathy.
In another one of his tips, self-described astro-political scientist Igor Lepshin says anyone dreaming of parliamentary sessions could be in luck: "There's a chance for making money."
But dreaming about sex with a politician is bad: "Your hidden enemies will trick you," Lepshin warned this week in Segodnya, one of Ukraine's leading newspapers.
Others have found ingenious ways to beat the boredom of Ukraine's third national poll in as many years.
A beauty salon in the south-eastern city of Dnepropetrovsk is offering special manicures that leave clients boasting portraits of political leaders and party logos on their nails.
"People are tired of having so many elections. We're trying to add some interest," manicurist Olena Popova told AFP.
The heavy-jowled current prime minister, Viktor Yanukovych, is especially tricky in miniature, Popova said.
Another client "wanted logos of all the parties on different fingers," eventually settling for the top five -- with 20 parties contesting Sunday's poll she'd have had to bring her toes into play.
Entrepreneurial clothes designer Igor Zaitsev has produced political shoes -- orange for President Viktor Yushchenko's Our Ukraine party, blue for Yanukovych's Regions Party.
Fans of Yuliya Tymoshenko, a glamorous opposition leader aiming to oust Yanukovych as premier, can squeeze into white stilettos emblazoned with her trademark red love heart.
Not every money-making scheme bears fruit. The bookmakers Parimatch in the capital Kiev said there are few punters for betting on the results.
"A good Barcelona-Zaragoza football match would get more bets than the entire election," bookmaker Konstantin Zakharich told AFP.
"Betting people are rarely interested in politics and vice versa, especially when you are talking about elections in Ukraine. I, for example, am completely uninterested. It's like something on Mars."
Still, politicians are trying hard to grab attention.
Tymoshenko has been quoted comparing Yanukovych's pro-Russian coalition to a male rabbit mating with a male squirrel.
Yanukovych, an ex-convict who brushed up his image with the help of US media experts, hit back, describing Tymoshenko as a "cow on an ice rink."
And chances are they'll be taking those differences onto Kiev's main square, the Maidan, soon after polling ends.
In the 2004 pro-democracy "Orange Revolution" the Maidan was where Tymoshenko and Yushchenko led hundreds of thousands of people to challenge alleged vote-rigging by Yanukovych.
This time Yanukovych is a step ahead: an advance team of blue-flag waving supporters has already occupied much of the Maidan. They even have their own blue Regions Party basketball hoop.
Astrologers shrink from predictions about the country's political fate.
"Based on a politician's date of birth we can work out exactly what will happen," astrologer Olena Osipenko told AFP.
"But there are others who stand behind these politicians and do not reveal their identities," she said darkly. "Many politicians even change their dates of birth."
Anyone really fed up might consider decamping to the village of Bakaivka, east of Kiev.
An eccentric group of locals have declared independence for their vegetable-producing "sovereign municipality."
"The election does not affect us. We have nothing to do with Ukraine's laws," Olexander Tolstoy, who described himself as a "plenipentory diplomatic representative," told AFP by telephone.
But even politicians seem to know they are not wanted all the time.
Asked by journalists how she will spend Saturday, the last day before voting, when campaigning is banned, Tymoshenko said: "I plan to sleep -- all day."
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